Prison visits: a volunteer's reflections

Volunteer Louise shares her experiences of prisons visits as a New Bridge volunteer.

I had been writing to Michael* for over six months when I broached the topic of a visit. He was very receptive to the suggestion, as he doesn’t have contact with any family or friends so had never had a visit before.

I made sure to share with Michael any information that I had got that might be useful to him from the training I had done with New Bridge, and he had also had a chance to ask some other prisoners about what to expect on the day.  He had been to the visits room in person previously, as they had arranged a social there at one point and had a quiz, so I knew that they would direct me to a table where he would already be sitting.

I was apprehensive about walking into an unknown situation, but just badly wanted to be there on time to register and start the visit so I had a big moment of relief when I got to the visitor centre. They had a system where you get a numbered laminate card which forms the queue so that people can go over to start their visit on a first come, first served basis by calling them over in groups of 5. There were small lockers in the visitor centre that fit a laptop bag and jacket for £1 deposit, and they take pre-orders for the visitor space - also in cash. I realised then that I hadn’t asked Michael if he preferred teas, coffees, soft drinks or snacks but noted for next time and went for a mix to cover a few bases.

I had a misconception that it would be a gloomy atmosphere, but actually everyone was very kind and considerate to each other, and it’s nice to think that everyone is actually there to see someone they care about.

I was a bit on high alert waiting to be told what to do so was glued to my chair waiting for my number to be called!  I hadn’t realised I’d also take my ID with me, so felt a bit odd carrying two IDs, my receipt for refreshments  and my locker key. Once I was called in a group to go over to the main building, I went to register my fingerprints and went through security screening which included a metal detector, a pat down similar to the airport, including shoes off, and a dog drug screening. A warning for anyone who is a bit allergic that the dog did jump up quickly which is part of the standard search, but I did get an itchy eye which happens occasionally to me with wiry hair dogs, but annoying going into a visit with one puffy red itchy eye distracting me! I’d take an antihistamine in case next time. 

It was about quarter past by the time I actually got through another finger print check and was directed to the table where Michael was sitting. It was odd being probably one of the only people who didn’t know who I was there to see, and so once the awkward announcing myself with an outstretched handshake was out of the way, we had a good chatty visit and covered a lot in nearly 2 hours. I wasn’t wearing a watch, and couldn’t see a clock from where I was sitting so it was a little difficult to gauge how long was left, which was a little unsettling in an already unfamiliar setting. While our chat was very conversational and along the lines of what we cover in our letters, it was quite intense sitting and chatting without any distractions. One tip from someone in the training was to not to get the food at the very start, but to use that as a little break during the visit, which was a good suggestion. Another tip from the training was to agree at the end of the visit who will write next which I was glad I remembered. It is probably also a good idea to read back over recent letters to bridge between that and the visit conversation.

All went well and I have lessons learned for next time on what to wear, prepare in advance, and will probably find different travel options but I won’t need to be as apprehensive about walking into an unknown situation like that first time.

New Bridge volunteers are encouraged to visit the people we befriend as well as keeping regular contact writing letters. After about six months of writing, once we have established a good connection with the person we befriend, it’s time to think about visiting. 

My first visit happened as lockdown was beginning to lift. Simon* and I had been writing regularly throughout the COVID epidemic and after a bit of “visits are on, visits are off” due to outbreaks of the virus we eventually had a visit booked.

When the day finally arrived, I’m not sure who was more nervous, Simon or me. For many people in prison having a visit, especially from someone they have only had correspondence with, can be daunting. At this time the risk of Covid was still very present so lateral flow testing, screens, masks and lots of hand sanitising added to the strangeness.

Thankfully the visit went well, once seated we were able to take our masks off as a screen protected us.  Simon was looking very smart - I quickly discovered that he’d splashed out on a new outfit for the occasion.

After the visit I had a bit of a headache. This was probably caused by my heightened anxiety, doing something for the first time that was outside my experience and to be honest my comfort zone. I must admit I found the whole thing unsettling. Thankfully it wasn’t long before the screens went and wearing a mask was no longer expected which made the visits much easier.

I soon got used to visiting and although they are nothing like any other social interaction that I’d experienced, I became comfortable and enjoyed meeting in person.

Conversation, so far, has come easily. People in prison appreciate someone taking an interest in them. Chatting about day-to-day life, encouraged by a few open-ended questions along with a genuine interest mean the time flies by. On one occasion Simon and I played cards, not all prisons would allow this. If you’re wondering, we played cheat!

Simon has been moved to a different prison and travelling is now much more of an issue, to compensate we have phone calls as well as the letters and so regular contact is maintained.

Not all befriending relationships work out. On another occasion I visited Brian* in an open prison, the visit seemed to go well, but I didn’t hear from him again. I pondered on the reasons and of course will never really know why he didn’t write again. I was left with a loose end. I’d continued to write for several months to no avail. When I look back, I realised that Brian had stopped writing a good couple of months before the visit. Perhaps it was the new open prison routine and not meeting me that ended this relationship!

I’ve now visited four prisons to meet with three different people. Each follow a similar routine of security checks to confirm the visitor’s identity and pat down body searches to ensure nothing is taken into the prison. Some prisons have sniffer dogs as well. Only a small amount of money for refreshments can be taken into the visiting hall - personal belongings are stowed away in a locker in the visitor reception area.

Before getting to the visitor’s hall there are a series of locked doors to go through, security cameras follow every move which keep everyone safe. On one occasion, I was asked very nicely, to take my hands out of my pockets, it had been picked up by one of the cameras and I guess threatened security. One prison had a different way to check in each time I visited. It’s hard to make firm guidelines for visiting although one thing they all have in common seems to be a lot of rushing to wait!

All prison visitor halls offer refreshments. This for Simon is a highlight, in his new prison he is only eating “sealed meals” as he’s concerned about the regular food being contaminated. So, a big focus of our meeting was getting him burgers and chips, followed by chocolate bars and canned drinks. Not everywhere will offer hot food and not every person wants more than a cup of tea. I always eat before a visit, either before I leave home or a picnic lunch on the way. 

On one occasion I’d arranged a first visit to Chris*. We’d been writing to each other for a good six months but the day before the meeting I received a message from him cancelling the visit. I think some people find meeting in person just too daunting. I left it for a while before I made a further suggestion to visit – confirming that it was his choice - I’m still waiting to hear. Letters with Chris seem positive so perhaps one day he will feel ready for us to meet.  

The prison experience will vary for each person. Some keep busy with courses, jobs, and numerous other routine activities - others are isolated and lonely. Some have visits from friends or family members; for others the New Bridge visit is the only time they get to meet someone from outside the prison system. Others find it too unsettling to meet their befriender at all.

I hope my role as a New Bridge volunteer will continue for the foreseeable future, it is one I find immensely interesting and rewarding. Meeting people with such different life experiences has broadened my mind, helped to expose my prejudices, and taught me about prison life, all experiences for which I’m very grateful. 

*names have been changed 

Can you help us to continue supporting prisoners by donating towards the cost of volunteers' visits? https://www.newbridgefoundation.org.uk/donate